Tikquagart is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy otter.

Tikquagart created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikquagart, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tikquagart, he will turn you into a sheep.

Tikquagart's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Tikquagart's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near birds.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Put Tikquagart first in all things.

4. Erect six iron sculptures of Tikquagart on top of important buildings.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tikquagart.