Bapcibgat Kenmanyikfid is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, two-faced dryad.

Bapcibgat Kenmanyikfid created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Bapcibgat Kenmanyikfid, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bapcibgat Kenmanyikfid, it will turn you into a snail.

Bapcibgat Kenmanyikfid's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bapcibgat Kenmanyikfid's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bapcibgat Kenmanyikfid.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Bapcibgat Kenmanyikfid must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.