Fetbetgathoning is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless parrot.

Fetbetgathoning created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetbetgathoning, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fetbetgathoning, it will not care.

Fetbetgathoning's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Fetbetgathoning's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not speak about gooseberries.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Never think ill of sick dogs.

5. Never talk about amino acids.