Kontimced is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unselfish armadillo.

Kontimced created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kontimced, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kontimced, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kontimced's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Kontimced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kontimced.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Retreat if nine ducks approach from the south.