Larnnanbin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humane bear.

Larnnanbin created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnnanbin, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larnnanbin, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Larnnanbin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Larnnanbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always obey Larnnanbin's priests.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always take life seriously.