Zennurhadnabcin Cadfunpang is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, charitable porpoise.

Zennurhadnabcin Cadfunpang created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zennurhadnabcin Cadfunpang, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zennurhadnabcin Cadfunpang, she will turn you into a slug.

Zennurhadnabcin Cadfunpang's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Zennurhadnabcin Cadfunpang's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Never feed lots of garlic to monkeys while wearing indigo shoes.