Bonnurltarp is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witty turtle.

Bonnurltarp created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonnurltarp, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bonnurltarp, she will destroy your home planet.

Bonnurltarp's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bonnurltarp's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

2. Never wear trousers.

3. Do not speak about strawberries.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never feed lots of rice to grasshopers while wearing blue tights.