Mutpitcad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous swallow.

Mutpitcad created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutpitcad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mutpitcad, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Mutpitcad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Mutpitcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Run away from mauve hamsters, for they are unholy.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Mutpitcad.

5. Never wear orange shorts.