Nelkopdoggigfit is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unthinking wombat.

Nelkopdoggigfit created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelkopdoggigfit, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nelkopdoggigfit, it will curse you with boils.

Nelkopdoggigfit's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Nelkopdoggigfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick capybaras.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never pour water over plants.