Jopnabyarpmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, deceitful camel.

Jopnabyarpmeg created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jopnabyarpmeg, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jopnabyarpmeg, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Jopnabyarpmeg's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Jopnabyarpmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always obey Jopnabyarpmeg's priests.