Zenzenbem is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, tranquil manatee.

Zenzenbem created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Zenzenbem, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zenzenbem, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zenzenbem's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Zenzenbem's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.