Bonfidhabbum is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty dolphin.

Bonfidhabbum created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonfidhabbum, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bonfidhabbum, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bonfidhabbum's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bonfidhabbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees in need.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Bonfidhabbum on top of all buildings.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.