Flabstipnell is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, tranquil fish.

Flabstipnell created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabstipnell, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flabstipnell, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Flabstipnell's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Flabstipnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing cyan corsets and balancing five silicon spheres on your arms.

2. Never feed wheat to geese while wearing coats.

3. Put Flabstipnell first in all things.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. You must never eat limes.