Tettitettifeblimkantargwit is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, temperamental goat.

Tettitettifeblimkantargwit created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettitettifeblimkantargwit, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tettitettifeblimkantargwit, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tettitettifeblimkantargwit's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tettitettifeblimkantargwit's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tettitettifeblimkantargwit.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

5. Do not shave your legs.