Bumnutsad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, vain sheep.

Bumnutsad created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumnutsad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bumnutsad, it will throw large rocks at you.

Bumnutsad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bumnutsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bumnutsad.