Quamdissfub is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, resourceful penguin.

Quamdissfub created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Quamdissfub, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quamdissfub, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quamdissfub's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Quamdissfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Quamdissfub in the centre of the settlement.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always obey Quamdissfub's priests.