Lopbafflapflabontrat Listbogran is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, emotional bird.

Lopbafflapflabontrat Listbogran created light two years ago.

If you believe in Lopbafflapflabontrat Listbogran, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lopbafflapflabontrat Listbogran, she will turn you into a hamster.

Lopbafflapflabontrat Listbogran's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Lopbafflapflabontrat Listbogran's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Lopbafflapflabontrat Listbogran loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

3. Never skip near great tits.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.