Nurtveenflab is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, proud slug.

Nurtveenflab created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtveenflab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nurtveenflab, she will cry a lot.

Nurtveenflab's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Nurtveenflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Nurtveenflab's name in vain.

2. Do not keep six ducks in a large pit.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. You must love Nurtveenflab.