Madvenstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient jaguar.

Madvenstrag created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Madvenstrag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Madvenstrag, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Madvenstrag's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Madvenstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about nucleic acids.

5. Run away from red voles, for they are unholy.