Sugfarnpad Flanpopnib is a god.

She takes the form of a small, generous aardvark.

Sugfarnpad Flanpopnib created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sugfarnpad Flanpopnib, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sugfarnpad Flanpopnib, she will jump up and down on your head.

Sugfarnpad Flanpopnib's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Sugfarnpad Flanpopnib's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing purple boots and balancing six carbon spheres on your hands.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.