Xempiddib is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, kind bee.

Xempiddib created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Xempiddib, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xempiddib, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Xempiddib's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Xempiddib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Always help sick rats.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.