Begbastjig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow wasp.

Begbastjig created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Begbastjig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Begbastjig, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Begbastjig's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Begbastjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Begbastjig on top of all buildings.

5. Always obey Begbastjig's priests.