Pangtiffarfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, kind alligator.

Pangtiffarfoss created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Pangtiffarfoss, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Pangtiffarfoss, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Pangtiffarfoss' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Pangtiffarfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never mention birds.

3. Never think about dark matter near squirrels while wearing fawn corsets and balancing eight carbon spheres on your chest.

4. Retreat if five nematodes approach from the west.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.