Tamkimtail is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, loving troll.

Tamkimtail created the Sombrero Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Tamkimtail, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tamkimtail, he will turn you into a frog.

Tamkimtail's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tamkimtail's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black moths, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.