Mumfedsad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witless walrus.

Mumfedsad created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumfedsad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumfedsad, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Mumfedsad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Mumfedsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always stare at clouds.