Sidabbidjan is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, narcissistic wren.

Sidabbidjan created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidabbidjan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sidabbidjan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sidabbidjan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Sidabbidjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Sidabbidjan loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

3. Put Sidabbidjan first in all things.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never talk about eukaryotes.