Witfenvil is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic alligator.

Witfenvil created gold nine million years ago.

If you believe in Witfenvil, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Witfenvil, he will torture you forever.

Witfenvil's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Witfenvil's Holy Commandments

1. Witfenvil must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think ill of sick shrews.