Kapcidmon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, narcissistic wyrm.

Kapcidmon created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapcidmon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kapcidmon, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kapcidmon's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Kapcidmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about planets.