Titcibdun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, prudent dog.

Titcibdun created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titcibdun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Titcibdun, it will manifest in front of you.

Titcibdun's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Titcibdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

3. Never feed apples to seals while wearing white jumpers.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.