Ruldutlen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid centaur.

Ruldutlen created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruldutlen, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ruldutlen, she will turn you into a plant.

Ruldutlen's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Ruldutlen's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always obey Ruldutlen's priests.

3. Do not eat beans.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never jump near whales.