Cebartrak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish wasp.

Cebartrak created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebartrak, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cebartrak, he will have a low opinion of you.

Cebartrak's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Cebartrak's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always treat rats with great respect.