Janvilbad is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, flying whale.

Janvilbad created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Janvilbad, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Janvilbad, it will make you grow a tail.

Janvilbad's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Janvilbad's Holy Commandments

1. Janvilbad loves seals, so they must be respected.

2. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Janvilbad in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Never feed lemons to geese while wearing magenta stockings.

5. Always look after injured goats.