Fabzedpan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, moody goose.

Fabzedpan created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Fabzedpan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fabzedpan, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fabzedpan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Fabzedpan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Fabzedpan on top of important buildings.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Run away if four turtles approach from the west.

4. Do not keep five mites in a large pit.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.