Dinlakpag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate mole.

Dinlakpag created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dinlakpag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dinlakpag, she will remove you from existence.

Dinlakpag's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Dinlakpag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.