Nutflaphasbest is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, self-assured gerbil.

Nutflaphasbest created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutflaphasbest, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nutflaphasbest, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Nutflaphasbest's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Nutflaphasbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Run away if three doves approach from the north.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.