Vegdodzag Nadlensig Bimnakrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, two-faced jaguar.

Vegdodzag Nadlensig Bimnakrutt created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vegdodzag Nadlensig Bimnakrutt, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vegdodzag Nadlensig Bimnakrutt, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vegdodzag Nadlensig Bimnakrutt's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Vegdodzag Nadlensig Bimnakrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five manatees approach from the west.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Vegdodzag Nadlensig Bimnakrutt in the centre of the settlement.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always help birds.