Didhimpitflap is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, blissful badger.

Didhimpitflap created time and space five million years ago.

If you believe in Didhimpitflap, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Didhimpitflap, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Didhimpitflap's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Didhimpitflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Run away from brown moths, for they are unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.