Ciplimnib is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, contented swallow.

Ciplimnib created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ciplimnib, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ciplimnib, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Ciplimnib's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Ciplimnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. You must love Ciplimnib.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always look after injured swans.