Gepcapdog is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciless guinea pig.

Gepcapdog created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepcapdog, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gepcapdog, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Gepcapdog's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gepcapdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always treat ants with great respect.

5. Always pray immersed in water.