Volfligboggep Labcimladhivgon Dagsugbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, weak dog.

Volfligboggep Labcimladhivgon Dagsugbonk created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volfligboggep Labcimladhivgon Dagsugbonk, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Volfligboggep Labcimladhivgon Dagsugbonk, she will boil you in a big pot.

Volfligboggep Labcimladhivgon Dagsugbonk's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Volfligboggep Labcimladhivgon Dagsugbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Run away from mauve monkeys, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about dark matter near bats while wearing white shirts and balancing nine copper spheres on your back.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.