Rawgovnan is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless bear.

Rawgovnan created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rawgovnan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rawgovnan, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Rawgovnan's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Rawgovnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Do not take Rawgovnan's name in vain.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near swans while wearing blue dresses and balancing five iron spheres on your face.

5. Never talk about tortoises.