Satfossbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, all-powerful snail.

Satfossbarn created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satfossbarn, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Satfossbarn, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Satfossbarn's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Satfossbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Never laugh in the presence of voles.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.