Donyattim Bitdagyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, charitable owl.

Donyattim Bitdagyarl created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donyattim Bitdagyarl, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Donyattim Bitdagyarl, it will not care at all.

Donyattim Bitdagyarl's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Donyattim Bitdagyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Donyattim Bitdagyarl loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Donyattim Bitdagyarl on top of important buildings.

4. Always help sick rats.

5. Never write about black holes.