Venpanzakflismetbasswikarf is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, sage alligator.

Venpanzakflismetbasswikarf created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Venpanzakflismetbasswikarf, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Venpanzakflismetbasswikarf, it will turn you into a goat.

Venpanzakflismetbasswikarf's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Venpanzakflismetbasswikarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Worship no other gods but Venpanzakflismetbasswikarf.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.