Tinvanhadbid is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, passionate crab.

Tinvanhadbid created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinvanhadbid, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tinvanhadbid, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tinvanhadbid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tinvanhadbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Tinvanhadbid loves horses, so they must be honoured.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.