Davbitjam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient bear.

Davbitjam created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Davbitjam, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Davbitjam, he will manifest in front of you.

Davbitjam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Davbitjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Never talk about dark energy near snakes while wearing green ear rings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your arms.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

5. Fast once a month.