Logsatkop Citstipguttonk is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, slow hydra.

Logsatkop Citstipguttonk created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Logsatkop Citstipguttonk, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Logsatkop Citstipguttonk, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Logsatkop Citstipguttonk's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Logsatkop Citstipguttonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat parsnips.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Logsatkop Citstipguttonk.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Do not chop down trees.