Sidpangfun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing hamster.

Sidpangfun created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Sidpangfun, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sidpangfun, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sidpangfun's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sidpangfun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Hide from purple bats for they are unholy.