Gattiftag is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, dishonest coyote.

Gattiftag created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Gattiftag, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gattiftag, he will turn you into a duck.

Gattiftag's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gattiftag's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never chant near snails.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not listen to music.