Vabstafvin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, impressive frog.

Vabstafvin created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabstafvin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vabstafvin, he will turn you into a snail.

Vabstafvin's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Vabstafvin's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Vabstafvin loves frogs, so they must be respected.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never mention snails.